Hail to thee Walt Whitman

My days of school spirit are behind me. I don't attend reunions. I don't know who won homecoming. I don't get invited to weddings. With one entirely haphazard exception, I haven't seen anyone from my school for about five years. Still, I feel a twitch of hometown pride right about now.

Walt Whitman High School, named after the gold standard for American gay poets, much to the delight of every guido, JAP, and suburban 'hood who ever graced its musty halls, has enjoyed largely trivial fame. Neal Marlens reputedly based his show The Wonder Years Whitman and the junior high, Henry L. Stimson Middle School. NBA lottery pick Tom Gugliotta is a graduate. And, lest we forget the near-misses, the Whitman Class of '93 was a finalist for the second season of the inane reality show High School Reunion.

Now we Whitman Wildcats have a new reason to be proud. It seems that 18-year old Krista Guterman, a recent graduate, had a tryst with Paul Lo Duca, the 34-year old, soon-to-be-not-married catcher for the New York Mets. Now, it is not exactly clear whether or not Ms. Guterman's eighteenness had been attained at the time of the affair. Chances are that she was considering that this is Lo Duca's first year with the team. One thing is certain, according to her father, she won't be sitting down with the press any time soon, "You aren't gonna get her. She ain't nowhere near here."