6.06.2006

Good Career Strategy?

Tomorrow is the day. Step #6 of the Evandebacle Self-Improvement Initiative is going to be put into effect. I will be biking to work. The mixture of crisp morning air and bus exhaust will surely be a tonic to invigorate me to take on the day. MapQuest calculates the trip to be 16.18 miles, a rough estimate given that I think it best not to take the Dan Ryan. Sixteen point one eight miles of perspiration will thus accumulate on my person and in my clothes. This is my dilemma. How to mitigate my personal ripening as a result? (By the way, is this making me more attractive, ladies? "Ooooh. Have you seen that sweaty guy down the hall? Musky. Grrrrrr.") Always a team player and a cup-half-full fella, I see this as an opportunity to expand my zone of personal space at work by effectively making myself repulsive to everyone. This will give me more room to work and fewer interruptions. Brilliant plan, eh? I will bring a change of clothes, but any other suggestions? I fear there may be OSHA rules against my company having Smelly Biker Dude in the office which may turn this plan for healthy living into grounds for dismissal.

5 Comments:

At 2:02 PM, Anonymous Fujisan said...

I bet the Ma'Dear ladies give excellent sponge baths...

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger evandebacle said...

I honestly can't think of any group of people who I'd like touching my naked body less. And includes Hitler and Ann Coulter.

 
At 2:13 PM, Anonymous lell said...

http://www.biketraffic.org/trickstips/clothes/cleaningatwork.htm

towelettes, man, towelettes...

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger Butternugget said...

Handi Wipes and Imposters Designer Body Spray

http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100298&navAction=jump&navCount=0&id=prod399947

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger evandebacle said...

Imposters Designer Body Spray, eh? Let's see. "If you like Glow by JLO you'll love our Sensual." That sounds just like me!

 

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