6.21.2006

For My Information

Fascinating things which I have learned already today:

1. Kids need help, mentors to assist them along. Remember this when you stop off at the BP Wild Bean Cafe on the way to the office. When you give the lad behind the counter (Sylvester was his name, if you should happen upon his good retail soul) $2.01 for a $1.21 purchase and he inexplicably gives you $.20 change and can't for the life of him figure out what the problem is, be gentle.

2. Don't be fooled by the simplicity of calculating the effects of Micromanagement. It is true that Micromanagement is an exponential, rather than a geometric function; however, Micromanagement entities, in some environments (e.g., my company) may behave like waves rather than particles. Specifically, certain Micromanagement entities (e.g. Boss Micromanagement (Mb) and Client Micromanagement (MC)) may operate on wavelengths such that some of the overall Micromanagement force is neutralized via the physical and bureaucratic tendencies of Corporate Interference created by the individual forces acting on one another. So, in such instances Fm=H(MC2/Mb2), where H=the Universal Constant of Corporate Horseshit.

3. The guy selling the brand new pair of New Balance, size 11 shoes is hangin' at the Dunkin'. If I know anyone who needs a pair of $75 gym shoes he'll be there, but he ain't waitin' forever. These are $75 shoes and he only wants $20.

4. The stifling, airless hallway in which our bathroom resides has taught me the true meaning of the Brit term "the bog."

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